America. / Promotional

Why march when you can fly?

DISCLOSURE: The Red Bull products in this post (and only those products) were provided to me at no cost by Red Bull Energy Drink. I was not otherwise compensated for this post. All opinions expressed are my own, and not those of Red Bull or its affiliates. Click here for more on my policies.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the world’s biggest fan of energy drinks. While a cup of coffee has little to no effect on me, a can of carbonated energy can make me jittery, cold flash-y, and generally pretty unattractive. Which is why I usually reserve them for my 12-hour road trips, when the only people who see me are the gas station cashiers selling me the energy drinks…who have already seen me walk into the shop with trail mix and melted-protein-bar remnants crusted to my sweatpants, so I’m not fooling them anyway.

That having been said, what I lack in enthusiasm for energy drinks I make up for and then some with my love for anything camo. Especially pixelated camo, because I’m Army biased. So when I found out that Red Bull Energy Drinks had partnered with Military Warriors Support Foundation to release a limited-edition camo can, I strapped on my wings and flew on board.

Camo Can Packaging

Military Warriors Red Bull Camo Can

That’s a lot of camo. I am pleased.

A portion of the proceeds from the camo cans will be going to Military Warriors Support Foundation’s Homes4WoundedHeroes project. Having personally heard recent horror stories of soldiers returning from deployments to find their homes foreclosed, this project hits me right in the money-maker. Its goal is to provide as many wounded Iraq and Afghanistan veterns as they can with mortgage-free homes, along with three years of family and financial counseling.

Homes have already been awarded to more than 270 wounded veterans through the project (including two homes solely from Red Bull contributions in 2012), and if helping another along is as easy as shelling out for an energy drink, I’ll take my chances with some caffeine jitters.

My Red Bull Camo Can

Have you ever asked a room full of military men, “Hey, who here likes Red Bull?” Well, I have now, and the response was similar to asking a room full of second graders, “Hey, who here likes recess and candy bars?”

Barney and his Red Bull

SSG Barney and my USA wall art approve of the camo can.

Wylie and his Red Bull

So do SSG Summers and his new headband.

I should also mention that, aside from during panic-inducing road trips, my real favorite way to enjoy Red Bull is when it’s mixed in a glass with some vodka. I can’t explain why this is so delicious. Health-wise, it is not something I want to promote, and drinking this mixture enough will definitely kill you. Red Bull would probably be disappointed in me (both morally and legally) for diluting its product with a depressant, but I still had a little bit of Party Edition vodka in my cabinet, and I couldn’t resist.

Red Bull cocktail

I like to drink this cocktail out of a zebra wine glass (a gift from Ai Rei, who is just as fabulous as the wine glass), and I call the cocktail “America! F*** Yeah!” Which I’m censoring because I’m a lady, and because I’m assuming Red Bull is already angry enough at me.

Svedka did not send me free vodka or compensate me for this post, but I’d be really okay with it if they wanted to go ahead and do that.

Okay, back to business.

Red Bull Camo Can

The camo cans are available through Labor Day (SO HURRY); if you happen to be a fellow Fort Campbell-er, you can find them in the Red Bull fridge at the PX. The promotion extends to the Sugarfree (which comes in a lighter blue camo can) and Total Zero (which comes in a grey camo can) products as well.

Red Bull is hoping to double their contribution to Homes4WoundedHeroes this year, and you’ve got through Labor Day to grow some wings and help them out (that’s the first weekend in September, for those of you who aren’t already tracking this date to calculate number of yearly wears you can get out of your white pants). If you pick up a camo can, Tweet @army_pants and/or Instagram @aileen_in_armypants a pic (selfies of you making out with the can also totally acceptable) to me with the hashtag #CamoCan. Happy flying.

3 thoughts on “Why march when you can fly?

  1. I don’t even drink energy drinks (not since that night of Oedipus rehearsal at 1230a when the stage managers left and returned with a bag of mcdonalds cheeseburgers and a case of full throttle), but this makes me want to buy one and then spam your twitter with absurd selfies.

    • Nothing says “time to party” like accidentally killing your father and marrying your mother. #Whoops #MyBad #Hindsight #Yolo

      I want to make a collage of your would-be camo can selfies and make it my desktop background. Is that weird?

  2. The pixelated 8-bit style is what really does it for me. I don’t drink energy drinks (because it is my firm belief that it will induce a cocaine-like state with my low caffeine tolerance), but I can appreciate a good nerdy design any day. 🙂

    Also, that zebra wine glass can only be as fabulous as the woman who’s holding it… or as the woman who gave it… so I guess in a very unhumble way, we both know what that makes us.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *