We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
And perhaps the lesser known, the pursuit of turning food into things that look like other things.
Happy birthday, America.
And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
(And our promise to love the United States, from the tips of our fingers, to the tips of our toes. But not to put our toes on the internet. We’re not really into that. But it’s fine if you are. America!)