Army 101 / Care package / Deployment

Christmas care package: the practical stuff

My parents raised my sister and me with a modest appreciation for Hanukkah. While we did exchange gifts all eight nights, the for-fun gifts were always followed by the practical gifts. (i.e. The year we got a Nintendo 64 and the brand-new Zelda game, followed by a replacement shower head for our bathroom. Then followed by a very stern scolding from our parents about ungratefulness, and about the unappreciated art of the shower head.)

So after planning Jonathan’s Christmas care package for the sweet gifts, the sentimental gifts, and the gifts I immediately regretted, I also took a page from my parents and planned the practical gifts.

More like the TACTICAL gifts. ARMY PUN.

More like the TACTICAL gifts. ARMY PUN.

I knew the Eberlestock tactical pack wouldn’t really be a surprise to Jonathan. Obviously he told me he wanted it, because if I’d had the idea to find him a tactical pack on my own, I probably would have sent him a Dora the Explorer backpack that comes with a clip-on hook for his water bottle. Which I still might have sent him, but unfortunately it was not available in MultiCam.

And while I usually like to get a bit more creative and thoughtful with my gift-giving, the advantage of this tactical pack for me was that it came with a lot of hidden pouches and pockets where I could shove the other gifts to round off his eight-nights-of-Hanukkah-or-maybe-that-number-was-a-coincidence gifts.

Camo scarf

Space ice cream

Okay, so maybe the astronaut ice cream doesn’t technically qualify as a practical gift, but it fit really nicely into that pocket, so for me it was extremely practical. And unlike the Eberlestock purchase, it did not cost me 40 extra dollars to make that scarf in MultiCam. Which is apparently a trademarked pattern that requires a FORTY-DOLLAR royalty fee. Don’t tell them I’ve used the word MultiCam three times in this post; I’m afraid I’m going to be sued for intellectual property rights infringement.

The pack also provided a rather convenient shipping mode for all the other gifts.

Christmas pack packed

Insert packing peanuts, because clearly I'm still experiencing heavy anxiety about those bubble-wrapped candy cane pops. And also to make sure the gift is extremely annoying to open.

Insert packing peanuts, because clearly I’m still experiencing heavy anxiety about those bubble-wrapped candy cane pops. And also to make sure the gift is as annoying as possible to open.

Then insert more padded packing material provided by my mom, because I AM NOT MESSING AROUND.

Then insert more padded packing material provided by my mom, because I AM NOT MESSING AROUND.

I also put together some smaller care packages for a few of the other guys in Afghanistan. Luckily I haven’t met that many army guys, or I wouldn’t have slept at all the night before these had to get to the post office.

Soldier care pack

Because the only thing that’s better than one camo scarf is a shit ton of camo scarves for all your friends. There’s no such thing as too much camo.

Happy holidays, everyone. Next week when Christmas is over and you’re sitting amongst a sea of cookies, trying not to get diabetes, consider inviting some friends over to help in the eating, and to prepare some paper snowflakes for the Sandy Hook PTSA.

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  1. Pingback: Home for the holidays for my last holidays at home « Army Pants and Flip Flops

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